Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
the table of underagers at this wedding were seated 10ft from the open bar. currently 30 open containers on the table for 5 people. dinner hasn't even been served yet.
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
Currently shopping online for cardboard cutouts of various horror characters. That should teach me roommates to stop taking acid on Tuesdays.
Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
Know we haven't talked but having an orgy party on the 20th if you're interested. If not, disregard this text.
Who is this?
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
Last night you were throwing up in my toilet singing "all by myself."
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
Randomize
