I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
If one more "stranger" walks up to me at the bar and asks how I have been, I am going to rehab.
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
We still on for coffee?
Cream and sugar. Deliver to planned parenthood in 45.
I'm with some lesbians. Somehow I offended them and the Justin Beiber one told me I was fat.
Is drinking before noon still a bad idea if you invent an amazing cocktail?
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
Fuck the walk of shame. I make this shit glorious.
The fact that you arent wearing shoes probably just adds to the classiness
Condom wrapper stuck to my shirt ups the anty
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
You cuddled up under the blanket because you said it smelled like Santa and vodka.
Randomize
