shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
fuck he's narrating my life in a british voice make him stop im way too fucking high for this
Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
The cop refused to sing with us, even though he was as happy as we were that the tow truck finally showed up.
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
there's chocolate cake in my bathtub.. I don't even want to know how the hell chocolate cake wound up in my tub..
I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
Exactly. This is the bit where I learn a heartwarming lesson about not making my drinks half vodka
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
I'm sitting in my car avoiding a customer. Apparently the new year hasn't affected my attitude nor work ethic
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