so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
I wish I was that guy from the miller light commercials so I could walk into parties and take peoples beer without getting yelled at
There is only so much cookie dough and masturbating I can handle in one night.
Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
I feel like I deserve an award for facing my fear of penises in my face.
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
Randomize
