6:33 AM: I'm drunk at this time of morning.
She wouldn't stop telling me the story of the penis and how she got laid.
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
Just watched a drug bust from the Ralphs parking lot while listening to Frank Sinatra. Happy Valentine's Day.
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
You know what's awkward? Being with your girlfriend and seeing her ex-boyfriend that she left for you while you've got a Ron Burgundy level awkward boner.
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
Dude I left his house at 5:30 a.m. after you peed on his front door and then tried to fight me for my blanket. Don't even do that at my house or I will end you.
hahahahaha. Worst. Text. Ever.
Randomize
