He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
we walked around the neighborhood with caution tape tied around our foreheads, making indian noises. I might have disturbed a crime scene to make a native american headdress.
I made him say "i realize i'm cheating on my girlfriend" five times aloud before i would hook up with him. Somehow that has to lessen my bad karma
So a sorority girl just introduced herself to me by saying "a guy I used to fuck just threw up on me" and then she grinded on me
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
sober me needs to have more faith in drunk me.
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