i literally forgot his name and just started calling him "waffles"
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
Just had a horrible realization. I've fucked a guy with a webbed foot AND a guy with a third nipple.
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
What are your plans?
Get picked up. Convince you to leave work. Smoke. Drink. Fly helicopters.
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
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