I think my grandma died before she was convinced I was straight
dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
He left an apology note saying he had to work and that there was coffee, OJ and food on the table with two Excedrin. I left his spare key with the door guard and she said "too bad I don't go for skinny white boys or I'd jump you both!" Best one night stand ever.
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
I am officially now FB friends with my arresting officer.
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
I don't get it. If he broke into Taco Bell at 2 am, then why couldn't he have brought me home a fucking taco???
I fought off a bull with my bare hands while he went off to have sex with her against a wall. I’m more upset about the fact that no one is acknowledging what I did.
Randomize
