i had the deer in headlights look when she walked in and i was digging in her hamper
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
Have you ever looked at the 750mL bottle of wine on the seat next to you knowing that it's just not going to be enough?
Each and every day.
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
He just told me he's been drinking vodka at work all day. I'm starting to believe in soul mates.
Tonight's trip to the ER was brought to you by, "fork jousting."
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
dude his girlfriend left the meanest shit just marinating in our toilet. I'm gonna have to snap chat this out, theres no other option. prepare yourself
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
Randomize
