Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
Dude, I couldn't come. She sounded like a goddamn dying walrus.
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
Should I go sleeveless of strapless?
Hmmm, it doesn't matter. You're gonna be topless by the end of it.
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
He once bought a dildo and put fifty dollars and a happy anniversary note in the battery compartment I gotta lock him down while hes available
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
Randomize
