The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
Just saw Santa sitting on a restaurant patio drinking beer and using his free hand to gesture to cars that he's watching them
I'm sorry but if you can't drink a bottle of wine without a glass, I do not think we can be friends.
Last year you twerked on my Christmas tree and threw up all over the bathroom...in front of my parents. We should probably keep power hour to ONLY an hour this year
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
He asked me if I want to play Uber Driver, is this some new sex game or is he drunk and asking for a ride home?
so at target i bought condoms, on sale undies, pasta roni, and martini mix. the old lady who rang me up asked "honey are you a freshman?" yea lady i am, thanks.
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
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