how much do you want to bet that her wedding invites will be vera bradley themed? loser has to frame theirs.
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
Want to come over? I'm getting stoned and watching Netflix and making s'mores over a candle in my room
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
I have major gossip for you.
Oh no, did you have sex last night?
If I had sex last night I'd probably post it on facebook. It's been that long and I'd be that excited.
It's like, "you literally have no idea who i am but i definitely slept with your brother in your bed."
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
Randomize
