i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
the welcome home hickey he left on my boob is really gunna put a damper on the rest of my thanksgiving hook up plans with the rest of my ex's
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
Annnnd I didn't even notice there is a guy dancing in a jock strap beside me. That explains girls smiling at me
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
Sometimes I have to make sure these messages are going to you and I'm not about to give someone in my phone book a heart attack.
I just put bronzer on my abs to snapchat nudes. If that's not going hard I don't know what is
He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students.
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
Hi I am on my way. I stopped and got the cheeseburger you asked for. Are you gonna pay me back?
Who is this?
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