how many beers do i need before it is acceptable to sleep with sam
enough that when i make fun of you for it tomorrow you wont even remember it happening
I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
Sundays have taken on a whole new meaning when I'm not in bed with an excruciating hangover.
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
she asked him to cuddle cuz she was cold and instead he got up, moved the space heater to her side of the bed, and went back to sleep
I bought left over pizza from a guy on Craigslist.
I spent the entire party sexting people's significant others for them because they were too drunk to do it themselves. I did quite well too. I should start a business
I'm slowly getting to where I don't hate people anymore.
Never mind. Some random dude just walked past me and asked if I was having fun. I snarled at him. I might still kinda hate people.
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
Randomize
