i just heard Winston Churchill in auto-tune. thank you nerds.
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
I tackled a mailbox like a linebacker. He almost broke his hip and his friend lit a bottle rocket off inside of the car. Yes it was a successful night.
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
I just saw an appointment in my phone called "it's been a month" I think I drunkly did that after I slept with Paul to remind myself to check if I got knocked up... I'm smarter drunk than sober.
Its not that hard, just find a girl reading 50 shades of grey and point her my way
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
Randomize
