Hey dude. Went to the hospital. Call me when you get up
thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
DON'T WEAR PANTS.
I REPEAT.
DO. NOT. WEAR. TROUSERS.
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
I emailed the police apartment to apologize to the officer from last night. I practically threw a hissy fit because he wouldn't hug me.
It was "against protocol"
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
Randomize