Alarm just got pulled in my exam
Swear it wasn't me
i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
I wasn't sure if "you're even prettier in the dark" was a compliment. Hmm.
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
Woke up to a huge puddle of water in the living room floor, apparently I made an indoor snowman.
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
You came down the stairs dressed as winnie the pooh and kicking cups off the table and out of people's hands
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
So it's my mom's birthday and I wanted to be super cheap and just walk up to her and say "I got you the greatest gift ever, mom! I'm actually sober right now!".
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
Randomize
