so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
I need a $60 an hour job, because I have a $50 an hour drinking habit.
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
He talks to me in this sweet I know you might be pregnant voice.
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
on my way to nyc to take a survey about my sexual activity. if you dont hear from me for a few days, assume they had me committed...
Riddle me this: How does one check in at the Marriott, but wake up at the W?
My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol
What were you even doing out there at 2 a.m.?
Look, i had a gallon of lemonade, a pack of smokes and a Darth Vader voice changer. What did you EXPECT me to do?
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
Randomize
