absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
Omg just saw this kid I went to elementary school with at the bar and he used to be cool and I was so awkward but now I have boobs so I WIN.
i just broke my key off in the door of my house because the engine wasnt starting
he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
We are two peas in an std pod
When I look at old family photos I know how jessica simpson feels when she watches dukes of hazzard
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
I declared today 'Have a Bloody Mary Naked Day'. Why? Because I'm hungover, thirsty & don't want to bother putting on clothes.
Does it still count as a valentine if it's drunk phone sex at 3 in the morning
I've found my soulmate with the cardboard Dos Equis man.
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
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