how soon is too soon after the break-up to ask for my condoms back?
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
How am I supposed to buy weed and pancake mix when it's raining?
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
I finished my first whiskey and I'm waiting to have a second one in celebration when your pregnancy test comes back negative
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
Randomize
