I thought Christmas was going to come before I did
i hope you realize that ur overconfidence only gave me one orgasm out of all the times we had sex. that's like a 1% success rate. u might wanna rethink how amazing you are.
I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
I wish I was that guy from the miller light commercials so I could walk into parties and take peoples beer without getting yelled at
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
Okay so for future reference and your own safety I should probably tell you that it is not cranberry juice in that bottle on the kitchen table.
I'm gonna play eenie meenie at the bar tonight because it's women's day and I deserve the dick
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
Randomize
