what if every blade of grass was a penis?
All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
Just had a girl agree to give me a blowjob in exchange for wearing my jacket during class. Talk about successful negotiations. Best day of my life
she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
I'm discussing Magic Mike with my mom and totally get why she thinks I'm gay.
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
Just got a handjob in the hospital
A new low.
Last night you were throwing up in my toilet singing "all by myself."
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
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