Lady with a stroller in a bar. Think she's out of my league?
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
The bouncer at this strip club is my new best friend. He is also very persuasive. He got me to strip onstage for a t shirt. It's a nice shirt.
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
I don't think the best pickup line was. Hey I have never made a girl orgasm before but I'm sure it will work on someone like you.
We were all in the pool and he showed up with a pitcher of margarita. Everyone swam over to him. He poured it directly into our mouths like we were a Sea World act.
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
pray to the hookup gods
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
You had all day to plan ahead & get mixers, so whose fault is this sobriety?
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
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