Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
I wish there was a hungover fairy to brush my teeth and bring me a diet coke.
My dad just knocked on my door and told me that my vibrator was too loud
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
There is a slip-n-slide in the hallway and a girl just did it topless cuz I told her it was my birthday. Where are you?
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
I think it's time to give up this life and become vikings. You in?
You should feel special! You're also the only person I've ever punched during sex
I wish so many great beards were not attached to even greater jerks. All that face sitting potential wasted. Some of the greatest tragedies of this century.
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
Just got hit on via LinkedIn..do I capitalize on this opportunity/land a job or reply something sassy
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
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