Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
Just saw a cop issuing a DUI. At 3 pm. It's definitely the start of winter break.
thursday was literally the first time i didnt drunk eat since the bush administration and it was only because i was fucking someones boyfriend. making a mental note to do that more often.
I can't wait to be a mother. My daughters gonna outdrink every boy in her grade
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
Randomize
