Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
Moan for me like Helen Keller
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
Before you even think your day was worse than mine, I had to disinfect and and stitch another dude's penis after his prince Albert got ripped out by an angry chick.
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
Looks like I'm not in the Ashly Madison files. But my wife is.
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
I just met a drunk old lady with a bedazzled life alert alarm around her neck. I love casinos
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize
