I slept walked to the toilet and woke up pooping. Easily one of the most disorienting events of my life.
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
I just saw the preacher from the church I grew up in while I was buying condoms at the drugstore... he remembered me.
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
If I'm gonna go to jail I'm gonna be wearing a poncho
Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
You're too drunk for my bullshit, and i'm too sober to put up with yours. I have no idea how you expect to find middle ground here.
I'm eating chocolate cake while this guy snaps me from the gym. Like I cant believe i actually considered getting rid of this cake. Have fun sweating ima eat this cake 👌
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
Sorry I threw up all over your Lyft.
It's ok I woke up next to a dumpster.
Randomize
