hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
If thou arrisest to consciousness before I, rise me to an office of alertness for occupations such as brunch. Warm Regards, your roommate.
all i remember of last night is that i was drinking jameson and then NOTHING i do remember walking a dog though\nwhich is sooo fucking weird
OH MY GOD ITS COMING BACK I PUT THE DOG IN THE HOTTUB TOO
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
Apparently drunk me was getting hit on and i wasn't into it so i shouted "Stupify" at him like i was fucking harry potter then went to the pizza place next to the bar and punted some guys pizza box out of his hands. :(
I just spent 5 minutes saying how beautiful you are and you come back with dont get fat cause you have weird nipples.
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
If you need me I'll be getting drunk in a chewbacca onsie like a real adult.
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
Randomize
