so last night my mother drunkenly told me that maybe the reason why I want to be a vet was because I was conceived doggy style.
My mom just said we needed to put weed into our earthquake kit.
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
Im pretty sure it started going awry when I asked their mom "How much would it cost me to sleep with your daughters"
He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house.
We are winners. And by winners I mean home wrecking sluts
Isn't that what our 20s r for?? Testing the strength of other people's shitty relationships?
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
I have a friend that keeps saying he wants to go bear hunting. Thought I would say just walk down church street at night. What intersection is it?
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
I don't know where you went, but if you're anywhere near the liquor, pour me another drink
I had to cum in my sink.
Well you’re enrolled in an Ivy League grad school and I’m currently at a 2 star holiday inn in rural PA so who is really thriving here
Randomize
