i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
Dude I think I was making out with the cat last night
I don't have a cat..?
Well nonetheless. Whatever it was purred when I used tounge.
Found my smoke alarm in a ziploc in my toilet...again
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
My ex just sent me a message asking if she could blow me, but only if we get caught by her new bf. If she promises to swallow I'm doing it.
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
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