im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
Call me as soon as you're able to dial a phone. I just took a shit behind a building in broad daylight and need to get the fuck outta here soon.
I'm so hungover that if we go to panera, I'll probably get a bread bowl to throw up in.
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
I'm obsessing over hocus pocus right now. What if I change my Grindr profile to "come little children, I'll take thee away to a land of enchantment"
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
Dude. She was wearing nothing but Wonder Woman panties and a flag for a cape and sneaking around leaving PBR's by passed out people for the morning. She called herself the 'Merica Fairy.
Why haven't you proposed already?
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