"Take a picture of me motorboating molly" was probably not my best career move
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
Why do I have a missed call from "The Anaconda" ?
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
P.s. I wore your shirt today and it has your blood all over it, but I am at a funeral home and they are using embalming fluid to get your blood stains out right now.
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
Afterwards I drank a whole bottle of cake vodka in the bathtub while he was bawling his eyes out. Hands down weirdest hookup I've ever had.
I ripped my favorite bra in half last night while I was undressing in a drunken rage.
What was the rage all about?
He wouldn't stop to let me get McDonald's french fries.
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
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