So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
just woke up in my car, in front of the bar. Took me 10 minutes to find my keys which were about 10 yards away in a bush. According to my phone records, I called my ex 14 times last night. Breakfast?
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
No, trust me. Falling down the stairs is a fucking sobering experience.
I got up before the sun today. That makes me sun for the day.
When did you start smoking in order to be high by 4:30?
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
His middle name is Julius so I named his penis Caesar and told him he has to say "Hail Caesar!" whenever he comes. He didn't seem to like the idea, though.
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
Randomize
