you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
When my alarm went off, he rolled over and asked me: Bacon or dick? Yes, I will see him again.
If I were there, I'd be putting a martini in you, via funnel if need be, and you would be doing this thing.
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
The only thing keeping me calm right now is pretending to chop off everyone's heads when using the paper cutter
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
Just because you got dumped by some loser doeant mean you need Jesus. It just means you need better friends and some booze
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
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