im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
I found the TV remote. It was in the washing machine along with the chicken wings you kept complaining to Domino's about that they 'never delivered'
he sent me this 10 second long video of a gorilla eating a banana on my phone. no explanation. I didn't even have his number. just. a gorilla eating a banana.
I'm leaving my hospital band on when we go drinking tonight. I'm aiming for pity sex.
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
Randomize
