i was having this nice romantic moment with my girlfriend. then jimmy came in and peed on the fridge
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
please hold off on going into labor, i might need you to take me to the free clinic
one minute he's happily playing with a lighter and the next thing I know, he's screaming and the swing set is on fire
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
I haven't been hungover in so long I'm actually looking forward to it
What if he stabs me in the back, mid-orgasm, as I sit on his face? It'd be a miraculous way to go but that's not the point
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
Who died my cat blue again?
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
Randomize
