Why would I want to inherit a sex machine used by my grandma?
i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
dude i just heard a girl tell another girl 'what part of im trying to get laid tonight dont u understand?'
needless to say i wont be back home tonight
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
I'm seriously gonna die surrounded by a million cats and an unbroken hymen
at least the cop wrote "happy birthday" on the ticket.
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
I may or may not have definitely said the words "how do I put this beer in my purse without looking like an alcoholic" last night.
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
I woke up on a different floor than I went to sleep on. Can't find my shoes.
I just spent 45 minutes and a really well-put together Power Point trying to convince her to use my dog as baby Jesus in her church's play.
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
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