I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
Wait, you seriously DON'T keep vodka in your backpack??!??!?
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
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