pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
Why were you eating a hot dog in the bathroom at 230 am?
My roommate was sleeping, I thought it would be rude
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
Someone just asked me why I drink so much. Im gonna slap a bitch
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
My ultimate hope is that people will hug me, smell me, and therefore think I'm classy.
Randomize
