I can't find my pants or my car
I didn't even hookup I think I took them off at taco bell...
ha omg I always lose my dignity at taco bell as well... so no big deal.
dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
Mr. Last Night just informed me I told him to be very quiet when he left this morning and high-fived him as a goodnight kiss. Drunk me is slutty and manly.
Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
His text read: Sex? I replied: Not drunk enough. He bought 4 more rounds and tantalized me with the offer pizza later. This could be the beginning of a beautiful relationship.
Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
Now we are really drunk and her 17 yr old cousin is shitfaced. He may or may not have proposed a toast to octopuses and double fisting. And we just drank to Mexico.
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
I swear that when we jog in the morning I can hear it slap between his thighs
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.
I don't know how to reply to him. 'I'm glad the ecstasy my friend tricked you into taking wore off'...? It just doesn't seem sincere
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
Randomize
