So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
He just sent me a dick pic with his iPod held up next to it and the words "in relation to iPod." Geekiest booty call ever.
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
who put toothpaste on EVERY doorknob in my house?!
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
who knew i was capable of sobriety and human-like emotions all in the same night?
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
You don't know scared until you've just begun the first stage of an acid trip till a guy on stilts with a creepy mustache and beard says "enter the Forrest"
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
My vagina is very pro this idea
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
Jack said he hasn't jerked off in like two weeks and he's like a smoldering volcano who wants to bury you like Pompeii with his man gravy
Randomize
