i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
I should have known I was in trouble when you started pouring shots all over me
I got a dollar bill stuffed into my bra on two separate occasions by two separate guys simply for having boobs. I feel like somewhere god is patting himself on te back while pointing at me goin "you're welcome dude." easiest two bucks I ever made.
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
If I had to summarise my weekend I would do so using the words "horrifying romanian moonshine"
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..
I hope no one at work can tell or smell that I have tequila in my hair and I haven't showered for days
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
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