just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
He told me he had more lines than a plaid shirt
Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
Promise me that if I become one of those sad people that facebook pesters you to 'reconnect with' you'll tell me so I can delete mine and save myself the humiliation?
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
YOU ARE THE ONLY PERSON I KNOW THAT STEALTH CLEANS PEOPLE TOILETS
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
Randomize
