I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
Have you ever seen a midget fist pump? BEST. THING. EVERRRRR.
i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
I know. I almost started crying. IN WHAT UNIVERSE IS THAT A TURN ON?!
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
im shotgunning beers in the kitchen. alone. the cat is judging me.
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
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