They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
My sheets at my parents place are clean. No braveheart but I can paint myself, yell "freedom", and sword fight you with my cock. So come over.
GOOD IDEA: Stealing the bike a couple blocks away so I don't have to walk. BAD IDEA: riding bike for the first time in years drunk as hell. I'm bleeding and my body hurts and once again I can't find my car.
We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
My mouth feels like it's at the dentist but my body feels like it's at the strip club.
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
Grandma had me open the boxes that were delivered today. She got a sex swing, I've settled on "You go girl" as my official reaction.
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