Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
Doing tequila shots with my ex to celebrate that we broke up... not awkward at all.
i just stole a 8 pack of olde english 40s and 2 roles of duct tape. we are going to make edward proud tonight.
I fill condoms, not promises.
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
The last thing I remember is singing hotel California with a hobo and asking every bald man I saw if I could touch his head.
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
fuck you I'm eating salad I can't be drunk.
I don't know how to say "Sorry I was banging your boyfriend before I knew about you but you're awesome and we should hang out." without just saying it.
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
Randomize
