Thanks for jumping on that grenade for me last night. You're the best wingman ever
She ate 7 of the 8 slices of pizza. I deserve a purple heart and sex w your sister
Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
Me+graduation party+hammered drunk+polish horseshoes in the dark= black eye, crying, pissed, passed out in my dress... How was your weekend?
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
Masturbating with Lord of the Rings on was not how I planned my afternoon going but here I am.
Randomize
