Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
First date: that requires underwear, huh?
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
if you want blown tonight you're gonna have to take me up on that offer now. in less then 45 minutes you're gonna be blacked out and i'm not doing something i'm not getting credit for in the morning.
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
I asked if he wanted to come over and he said he was busy. Then I sent him a pic of me in the bath with the bottle of wine I already finished and all of a sudden he was free. Booty calls are too easy.
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
He texts me "just to say hi" and then tells me how hard he is and sends me a dick pic. And I'm like, dude, I'm ordering a burrito right now
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
Like pizza and mermaids make up about 1/3 of my thoughts on the weekends.
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
Randomize
