So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
its good she wears the same dress to all the weddings so we can track how fat she's really gotten
so glad i banged her when she was skinny
So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
You can't just send the picture of my vagina back to me, 2 months after we broke up, and make small talk out of it.
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
I need you to perform a face transplant. Please remove your face from your accounting book and relocate it to where it's most needed - between my legs.
I'm drunk eating a quesadilla while this kid is tryina come over and I'm just like no. I want the quesadilla.
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
Randomize
