I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
Why the fuck was there a shirtless Mexican in my apartment this morning?
Last night you told her she was rocking the beer gut. Still wondering why you have that black eye?
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
Bitch, I been tryna reach you all day to talk to you about these Dorito tacos.
My roommates just built a mini golf course upstairs while I was sleeping.
The sun is gonna brush it's hairy dick across my forehead in the morning, gently whispering: "you're 4 hours late for work"
Send help, water and tortillas.
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
Randomize
